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February 19, 2009 by Steve
Building self-confidence is an inside job. To build a real solid foundation in your self-confidence you want to experience yourself in a way that is new or different from past experiences.
This isn’t always easy, but it is very simple. You have to act. I explained two ways to do this in my previous article: How to Build Self-Confidence.
Seeing I can’t work with each of you individually, I’ve got three super tips for building self-confidence. If you take each exercise and act on them daily over the next 5 days – I guarantee you won’t even recognize yourself next week. Your self-confidence will skyrocket.
3 Tips to Build Self-Confidence
Here are 3 tips to build your self-confidence:
1. Release Your Trigger
If you want to build self-confidence quickly, then look for a trigger; an emotional trigger.
What is a trigger?
A trigger is an area in your life where there is a lot of pain and discomfort. When you resolve the pain or discomfort you have pulled the trigger. And this resolution opens up a whole new world of expansion and growth.
I’ll be honest with you. You have to be courageous to pull the trigger and resolve conflict, but when you do – you’ll get access to more power than you ever had before. It’s the release of these triggers that helps you make the largest strides forward ….in the shortest period of time.
One of the most influential triggers I’ve released was in my relationship with my dad. See my Personal Growth Series: 3 of 5 to learn more.
Exercise #1: Identify & Release Triggers
Where is an area in your life where you are experiencing a lot of pain and discomfort? Here are some to consider:
- Spiritual Connection or Life Purpose?
Identify the greatest area of pain or discomfort. Become aware of how you are creating the problem – YES, you heard me right. You’re creating the problem. It may not have ever occurred that way to you, but once you take ownership for your experience, you gain the power. And once you take responsibility for your creation, you can release the emotional trigger.
2. Make Unreasonable Requests
You are only as big as your requests. Big people make big requests. The more you ask them, the easier it gets. Like anything it takes practice, but there is a science to it.
I’m going to pick on my dad (for just a minute). He doesn’t think he’s getting paid enough in his job, but he also doesn’t ask for a raise. And I’m going to tell you, if you don’t ask, you will never receive.
People cannot read your mind so this means actually saying something to someone – you have to be willing to express yourself and make a request.
In 2007 (when I was working as an engineer) I asked my employer for a $10,000 raise. That was an unreasonable request. I was extremely nervous but I asked them anyways.
Well, I didn’t get the raise in that first meeting. You might be thinking it was a failure right? Not exactly. One year after I made this request I received the $10,000 raise. I was pretty shocked that it worked, but it does.
Exercise #2: Unreasonable Requests
Have you been making unreasonable requests? I’m guessing that if you don’t feel that surge that comes from doing what you love, then you aren’t. Get in the habit of making unreasonable requests. Make at least 5 today. Start by asking this question:
What are 5 unreasonable requests I can make today?
Write them out and act on them. Get on the phone, go visit people and make requests – you’ll be so glad you did; by the way, email does not count for making unreasonable requests.
3. Create A List
This isn’t brain surgery. It’s really simple but it works. I’ve been creating a daily list consistently for the past year and it has changed my world – it will change yours. It helps if you have a target or objective but not required.
Exercise #3: Start Your List
Do you have a list of priority actions you need to take today? And I’m not talking about a shopping list or vacuuming the house; those aren’t priorities. I’m talking about a real list of priorities that will move you towards your target. Actions that you’ve been putting off for a very long time. Your list should include 5-10 high priority items. These are your MUST-DO’s. Actions that will get you real results.
“How about you? Could making up lists be the mind awakener, mind sharpener, mind builder to lift you to a new dimension – to revitalize your life?” ~ Frank Tibolt
Have you created your list? If not, why not? I love this. People will pay thousands of dollars on courses, products and services but they won’t do the simple things – like making a list and then doing what’s on that list. Do it and it will change your life.