Learn the Power of Your Subconscious Mind

How Can I Make Someone Tell the Truth?

May 25, 2009 by Steve

I’ll be honest with you.  You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do, but what you can do is use my lie-detector test to see if someone is telling you the truth or not.  It’s really easy to do and once you get the hang of it, you’ll start to learn a lot about others.

Here’s my video:


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Posted in Honest & Upfront, Motivational Mondays, NLP, Videos |

Have an opinion? Comments welcome.

117 Comments so far

  1. JoannaNo Gravatar on May 25, 2009 3:21 pm

    I always get confused, since you look at the person as at a mirror image. So if they lookto their left it’s actually my right, and it takes time to analyze that…besides we tend to get “hypnotyzed” by the words and notice non-verbal communication less. Yet, this is a powerful technique. But let’s not get paranoid over who’s lying to us ;-)

  2. VitaliaNo Gravatar on May 25, 2009 5:53 pm

    Hi Steve,

    Are you familiar with the Fox prime time T.V. show “Lie to me”? It airs Wednesday nights at 7:00pm central standard time. I believe they just aired the season finale last week. It is a fascinating show about solving crimes based on a “lie detector expert” who is trained to read physical reactions, facial expressions, hand gestures, body language, etc… I highly encourage to tune in next season! :-) Great show!

    I have also read somewhere that another indicator of whether or not someone is lying has to do with how lengthy their excuses or explanations are. For example, sometimes the more detailed someone can describe what happened, quite frequently, the explanation is a complete and total fabrication. What generally occurs is that the alleged liar believes the more details he describes, the more credible he/she will appear to the listener.

    This, of course, may not be the case in 100% of the situations, but we would all be surprised at how much ALL of us lie on a daily basis! Most of the time lying occurs for self-preservation. Perhaps we are trying to raise our own self-esteem, perhaps we are trying to get out of an awkward, uncomfortable, or embarassing situation. Perhaps we are trying to avoid conflict, avoid hurting someone’s feelings, or getting into a confrontation. There are any number of reasons we lie (to others and sometimes even to ourselves).

    If you’re seeking who some of the world’s best liars are, just turn to politics. “Poly” means many and “ticks” means blood suckers. There are many bloddsuckers who are expert liars. Watch their mannerisms and listen to them carefully. Does anyone believe there are any we can trust? I highly doubt it very much.

    Interesting topic Steve and a very relenvant one.

    Maximize Your Potential!

    Vitalia

  3. SteveNo Gravatar on May 25, 2009 7:11 pm

    @ Joanna:

    Nothing too serious, it’s just a fun game to play :)

    @ Vitalia:

    The “Lie to me,” TV concept sounds interesting. I don’t watch much TV, except for a few re-runs of Seinfeld, Friends and the odd hockey game – go figure I’m Canadian, eh?

  4. CJNo Gravatar on May 26, 2009 12:31 am

    Steve,

    I’ve heard about this before and how surprisingly accurate these signs are. As for me, I’m such a terrible liar, I’m better off telling the truth or just keeping my mouth shut anyway. One tool I’ve used is really simple: 5 seconds of silence. Whenever I want to REALLY get to the bottom of an issue, usually involving one of my kids, I make a conscious effort to wait at least 5 seconds after the person I’m talking to finishes. People hate silence and you’d be surprised at how hard it takes for 5 seconds of silence to occur. I find that by keeping quiet and just listening, the liar will ultimately tell on themselves.

  5. VladimirNo Gravatar on May 26, 2009 3:24 am

    Hi Steve!

    When I was younger I was interested in the possible ways to recognise whether a person is telling the truth or not. And I was very intrigued in non-verbal behaviour when a couple of years ago I watched this movie with Al Pacino and Colin Farrell about CIA training program. Something similar to what Joanna says – left, right etc.

    Now I can share with you that every time I tell the truth I can recognise whether the opposite side is telling the truth or not.

    It is as simple as that.

    Your spoken truth is your “lie-detector test”.
    My spoken truth is my “lie-detector test”.

    And it is really a fun game to play.

    Best,
    Vladimir

  6. DrezzNo Gravatar on May 26, 2009 9:51 am

    “There aint no way to hide you’re lying eyes…”

    That’s an Eagles song, isn’t it?

    Anyway – lying is quite the art form when you think about it. It requires a lot of acting and memory skills as well as body control.

    I had read a fascinating set of articles on “effective lying techniques” that I wish I had on hand to link – it basically told you all of the things you should put into practice when you’re telling a “story” so when it comes time to actually lying, you follow the same actions and people wont be led astray by erratic behaviour.

    One of the items mentioned was eye position and there was a rationale similar to the NLP one you just talked about.

    It was basically a set-up where you ask a question about an event that you and the liar witnessed, where you study the liar’s face and eye position. Then after that, you ask a similar question about an event where you were not present and let the liar do his/her thing and you compare the expressions.

    If they’re honest, the pattern remains the same – if they break from that comfort pattern, they’re thinking too much and at an obvious discomfort.

    The body does weird things in stressful moments.

  7. SteveNo Gravatar on May 26, 2009 12:37 pm

    @ CJ – that is a great point! I didn’t realize it until you mentioned it CJ, but I also unconsciously do the same thing with my coaching clients so that I give them the space to open up about a problem or challenge that is on their mind. I also do this when I’m in a conversation with Trisha.

    @ Drezz – I love it when you said, “quite the art form,” and it’s so true. It takes creative thinking to be a good liar :)

  8. BelleNo Gravatar on May 26, 2009 5:45 pm

    Hmmm… I’m definitely going to watch my high school students and my personal training clients. Will keep you posted :)

  9. TaylorlordNo Gravatar on May 28, 2009 1:55 am

    Hey good video, I like your style and format of your content :)!

  10. X1PhotonNo Gravatar on June 13, 2009 4:05 pm

    [..YouTube..] The left of him, or the left of me? lol

  11. X1PhotonNo Gravatar on June 13, 2009 4:05 pm

    [..YouTube..] The left of him, or the left of me? lol

  12. X1PhotonNo Gravatar on June 13, 2009 4:05 pm

    [..YouTube..] The left of him, or the left of me? lol

  13. X1PhotonNo Gravatar on June 13, 2009 4:05 pm

    [..YouTube..] The left of him, or the left of me? lol

  14. X1PhotonNo Gravatar on June 13, 2009 4:05 pm

    [..YouTube..] The left of him, or the left of me? lol

  15. X1PhotonNo Gravatar on June 13, 2009 4:05 pm

    [..YouTube..] The left of him, or the left of me? lol

  16. Fresco679No Gravatar on September 27, 2009 11:01 am

    [..YouTube..] cool

  17. Fresco679No Gravatar on September 27, 2009 11:01 am

    [..YouTube..] cool

  18. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 30, 2009 7:58 am

    [..YouTube..] Yeah, it can be a bit confusing at first – it just takes a bit of practice and watching others. After you do this for a few days you’re brain will get the idea and start doing it automatically.

  19. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 30, 2009 7:58 am

    [..YouTube..] Yeah, it can be a bit confusing at first – it just takes a bit of practice and watching others. After you do this for a few days you’re brain will get the idea and start doing it automatically.

  20. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 30, 2009 7:58 am

    [..YouTube..] Yeah, it can be a bit confusing at first – it just takes a bit of practice and watching others. After you do this for a few days you’re brain will get the idea and start doing it automatically.

  21. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 30, 2009 7:58 am

    [..YouTube..] Yeah, it can be a bit confusing at first – it just takes a bit of practice and watching others. After you do this for a few days you’re brain will get the idea and start doing it automatically.

  22. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 30, 2009 7:58 am

    [..YouTube..] Yeah, it can be a bit confusing at first – it just takes a bit of practice and watching others. After you do this for a few days you’re brain will get the idea and start doing it automatically.

  23. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 30, 2009 7:58 am

    [..YouTube..] Yeah, it can be a bit confusing at first – it just takes a bit of practice and watching others. After you do this for a few days you’re brain will get the idea and start doing it automatically.

  24. BubblegumoriginalNo Gravatar on May 19, 2010 5:13 pm

    [..YouTube..] wait you mean that person’s left or mine??

  25. BubblegumoriginalNo Gravatar on May 19, 2010 5:13 pm

    [..YouTube..] wait you mean that person’s left or mine??

  26. BubblegumoriginalNo Gravatar on May 19, 2010 5:13 pm

    [..YouTube..] wait you mean that person’s left or mine??

  27. BubblegumoriginalNo Gravatar on May 19, 2010 5:13 pm

    [..YouTube..] wait you mean that person’s left or mine??

  28. jammerhead12No Gravatar on August 7, 2010 9:20 pm

    [..YouTube..] im pretty sure other guys left
    so ur right
    i think

  29. jammerhead12No Gravatar on August 7, 2010 9:20 pm

    [..YouTube..] im pretty sure other guys left
    so ur right
    i think

  30. jammerhead12No Gravatar on August 7, 2010 9:20 pm

    [..YouTube..] im pretty sure other guys left
    so ur right
    i think

  31. jammerhead12No Gravatar on August 7, 2010 9:20 pm

    [..YouTube..] im pretty sure other guys left
    so ur right
    i think

  32. jammerhead12No Gravatar on August 7, 2010 9:20 pm

    [..YouTube..] im pretty sure other guys left
    so ur right
    i think

  33. randomizercleoXxXNo Gravatar on September 1, 2010 1:22 pm

    [..YouTube..] what if thier eyes dont move at all?

  34. randomizercleoXxXNo Gravatar on September 1, 2010 1:22 pm

    [..YouTube..] what if thier eyes dont move at all?

  35. randomizercleoXxXNo Gravatar on September 1, 2010 1:22 pm

    [..YouTube..] what if thier eyes dont move at all?
    

  36. randomizercleoXxXNo Gravatar on September 1, 2010 1:22 pm

    [..YouTube..] what if thier eyes dont move at all?

  37. randomizercleoXxXNo Gravatar on September 1, 2010 1:22 pm

    [..YouTube..] what if thier eyes dont move at all?

  38. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 20, 2010 7:11 pm

    [..YouTube..] @randomizercleoXxX:

    Their eyes are always moving… everyone does this, but the movement is very subtle and it does take some training to notice it… but it’s so much FUN :)

    Steve

  39. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 20, 2010 7:11 pm

    [..YouTube..] @randomizercleoXxX:

    Their eyes are always moving… everyone does this, but the movement is very subtle and it does take some training to notice it… but it’s so much FUN :)

    Steve

  40. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 20, 2010 7:11 pm

    [..YouTube..] @randomizercleoXxX:

    Their eyes are always moving… everyone does this, but the movement is very subtle and it does take some training to notice it… but it’s so much FUN :)

    Steve

  41. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 20, 2010 7:11 pm

    [..YouTube..] @randomizercleoXxX:

    Their eyes are always moving… everyone does this, but the movement is very subtle and it does take some training to notice it… but it’s so much FUN :)

    Steve

  42. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on September 20, 2010 7:11 pm

    [..YouTube..] @randomizercleoXxX:

    Their eyes are always moving… everyone does this, but the movement is very subtle and it does take some training to notice it… but it’s so much FUN :)

    Steve

  43. 111NoOne111No Gravatar on October 3, 2010 8:15 pm

    [..YouTube..] what if he stares straight in ur eyes?

  44. 111NoOne111No Gravatar on October 3, 2010 8:15 pm

    [..YouTube..] what if he stares straight in ur eyes?

  45. 111NoOne111No Gravatar on October 3, 2010 8:15 pm

    [..YouTube..] what if he stares straight in ur eyes?

  46. 111NoOne111No Gravatar on October 3, 2010 8:15 pm

    [..YouTube..] what if he stares straight in ur eyes?

  47. 111NoOne111No Gravatar on October 3, 2010 8:15 pm

    [..YouTube..] what if he stares straight in ur eyes?

  48. vaneandreaNo Gravatar on October 12, 2010 1:45 pm

    [..YouTube..] your hot ;)

  49. vaneandreaNo Gravatar on October 12, 2010 1:45 pm

    [..YouTube..] your hot ;)

  50. vaneandreaNo Gravatar on October 12, 2010 1:45 pm

    [..YouTube..] your hot ;)

  51. vaneandreaNo Gravatar on October 12, 2010 1:45 pm

    [..YouTube..] your hot ;)

  52. Latino4life1305No Gravatar on October 14, 2010 5:55 am

    [..YouTube..] our right or them?

  53. Latino4life1305No Gravatar on October 14, 2010 5:55 am

    [..YouTube..] our right or them?

  54. Latino4life1305No Gravatar on October 14, 2010 5:55 am

    [..YouTube..] our right or them?

  55. Latino4life1305No Gravatar on October 14, 2010 5:55 am

    [..YouTube..] our right or them?

  56. ziblikhNo Gravatar on January 8, 2011 8:47 am

    [..YouTube..] You actually just told us how to lie Correctly :D

  57. ziblikhNo Gravatar on January 8, 2011 8:47 am

    [..YouTube..] You actually just told us how to lie Correctly :D

  58. ziblikhNo Gravatar on January 8, 2011 8:47 am

    [..YouTube..] You actually just told us how to lie Correctly :D

  59. ziblikhNo Gravatar on January 8, 2011 8:47 am

    [..YouTube..] You actually just told us how to lie Correctly :D

  60. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on January 9, 2011 4:41 pm

    [..YouTube..] @ziblikh: :-)

  61. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on January 9, 2011 4:41 pm

    [..YouTube..] @ziblikh: :-)

  62. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on January 9, 2011 4:41 pm

    [..YouTube..] @ziblikh: :-)

  63. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on January 9, 2011 4:41 pm

    [..YouTube..] @ziblikh:  :-)

  64. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on January 16, 2011 8:48 pm

    [..YouTube..] @stephenmartile… : D

  65. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on January 16, 2011 8:48 pm

    [..YouTube..] @stephenmartile… : D

  66. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on January 16, 2011 8:48 pm

    [..YouTube..] @stephenmartile… : D

  67. stephenmartileNo Gravatar on January 16, 2011 8:48 pm

    [..YouTube..] @stephenmartile… : D

  68. ingelachaiNo Gravatar on February 4, 2011 7:07 pm

    [..YouTube..] our right/or left or theirs??

  69. ingelachaiNo Gravatar on February 4, 2011 7:07 pm

    [..YouTube..] our right/or left or theirs??

  70. ingelachaiNo Gravatar on February 4, 2011 7:07 pm

    [..YouTube..] our right/or left or theirs??

  71. ingelachaiNo Gravatar on February 4, 2011 7:07 pm

    [..YouTube..] our right/or left or theirs??

  72. XxbananaxX1000No Gravatar on March 13, 2011 12:31 am

    [..YouTube..] What is there starring straight at u ?

  73. XxbananaxX1000No Gravatar on March 13, 2011 12:31 am

    [..YouTube..] What is there starring straight at u ? 

  74. XxbananaxX1000No Gravatar on March 13, 2011 12:31 am

    [..YouTube..] What is there starring straight at u ?

  75. XxbananaxX1000No Gravatar on March 13, 2011 12:31 am

    [..YouTube..] What is there starring straight at u ?

  76. ZuchiniMuumuuNo Gravatar on April 16, 2011 7:07 am

    [..YouTube..] I always look directly upwards. :/

  77. ZuchiniMuumuuNo Gravatar on April 16, 2011 7:07 am

    [..YouTube..] I always look directly upwards. :/

  78. ZuchiniMuumuuNo Gravatar on April 16, 2011 7:07 am

    [..YouTube..] I always look directly upwards. :/

  79. ZuchiniMuumuuNo Gravatar on April 16, 2011 7:07 am

    [..YouTube..] I always look directly upwards. :/

  80. ZuchiniMuumuuNo Gravatar on April 16, 2011 7:07 am

    [..YouTube..] I always look directly upwards. :/

  81. WaRriOr94ViP3RNo Gravatar on July 12, 2011 9:51 am

    [..YouTube..] our right or theirs?

  82. WaRriOr94ViP3RNo Gravatar on July 12, 2011 9:51 am

    [..YouTube..] our right or theirs?

  83. WaRriOr94ViP3RNo Gravatar on July 12, 2011 9:51 am

    [..YouTube..] our right or theirs?

  84. WaRriOr94ViP3RNo Gravatar on July 12, 2011 9:51 am

    [..YouTube..] our right or theirs?

  85. joshsco0t4No Gravatar on August 5, 2011 1:12 am

    [..YouTube..] my friend stole my ipod cuz it was lost and i asked him if he stole it

  86. joshsco0t4No Gravatar on August 5, 2011 1:12 am

    [..YouTube..] my friend stole my ipod cuz it was lost and i asked him if he stole it

  87. joshsco0t4No Gravatar on August 5, 2011 1:12 am

    [..YouTube..] my friend stole my ipod cuz it was lost and i asked him if he stole it

  88. joshsco0t4No Gravatar on August 5, 2011 1:12 am

    [..YouTube..] my friend stole my ipod cuz it was lost and i asked him if he stole it

  89. joshsco0t4No Gravatar on August 5, 2011 1:12 am

    [..YouTube..] my friend stole my ipod cuz it was lost and i asked him if he stole it

  90. SundayNo Gravatar on August 31, 2011 8:57 pm

    How can you tell when you are not face to face. is there something to listen for if maybe on the phone or something.

  91. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 7, 2011 3:43 am

    [..YouTube..] How does this video relate to lesbians?

  92. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 7, 2011 3:43 am

    [..YouTube..] How does this video relate to lesbians?

  93. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 7, 2011 3:43 am

    [..YouTube..] How does this video relate to lesbians?

  94. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 7, 2011 3:43 am

    [..YouTube..] How does this video relate to lesbians?

  95. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 7, 2011 3:43 am

    [..YouTube..] How does this video relate to lesbians?

  96. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 7, 2011 3:43 am

    [..YouTube..] How does this video relate to lesbians?

  97. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 2:50 am

    [..YouTube..] theirs. they simulate going to the right side of the brain, is i think, what this guy is trying to say.

  98. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 2:50 am

    [..YouTube..] theirs. they simulate going to the right side of the brain, is i think, what this guy is trying to say.

  99. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 2:50 am

    [..YouTube..] theirs. they simulate going to the right side of the brain, is i think, what this guy is trying to say.

  100. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 2:50 am

    [..YouTube..] theirs. they simulate going to the right side of the brain, is i think, what this guy is trying to say.

  101. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 2:50 am

    [..YouTube..] theirs. they simulate going to the right side of the brain, is i think, what this guy is trying to say.

  102. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 2:53 am

    [..YouTube..] it actually says Lebanese…as in the country

  103. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 2:53 am

    [..YouTube..] it actually says Lebanese…as in the country

  104. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 2:53 am

    [..YouTube..] it actually says Lebanese…as in the country

  105. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 2:53 am

    [..YouTube..] it actually says Lebanese…as in the country

  106. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 3:28 am

    [..YouTube..] @ReturnOfTheSkyRaider lol, oops sorry spelt it wrong. i can’t lie, when i seen the 2 chicks the first thing i thought was lesbians. what do lebs have to do with the vid?

  107. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 3:28 am

    [..YouTube..] @ReturnOfTheSkyRaider lol, oops sorry spelt it wrong. i can’t lie, when i seen the 2 chicks the first thing i thought was lesbians. what do lebs have to do with the vid?

  108. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 3:28 am

    [..YouTube..] @ReturnOfTheSkyRaider lol, oops sorry spelt it wrong. i can’t lie, when i seen the 2 chicks the first thing i thought was lesbians. what do lebs have to do with the vid?

  109. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 3:28 am

    [..YouTube..] @ReturnOfTheSkyRaider lol, oops sorry spelt it wrong. i can’t lie, when i seen the 2 chicks the first thing i thought was lesbians. what do lebs have to do with the vid?

  110. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 3:28 am

    [..YouTube..] @ReturnOfTheSkyRaider lol, oops sorry spelt it wrong. i can’t lie, when i seen the 2 chicks the first thing i thought was lesbians. what do lebs have to do with the vid?

  111. unbereavableNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 3:28 am

    [..YouTube..] @ReturnOfTheSkyRaider lol, oops sorry spelt it wrong. i can’t lie, when i seen the 2 chicks the first thing i thought was lesbians. what do lebs have to do with the vid?

  112. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 3:43 am

    [..YouTube..] there maybe similarities in the comments – emphasis on certain word/s.

  113. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 3:43 am

    [..YouTube..] there maybe similarities in the comments - emphasis on certain word/s.

  114. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 3:43 am

    [..YouTube..] there maybe similarities in the comments – emphasis on certain word/s.

  115. ReturnOfTheSkyRaiderNo Gravatar on October 9, 2011 3:43 am

    [..YouTube..] there maybe similarities in the comments – emphasis on certain word/s.

  116. SoulNo Gravatar on November 21, 2011 10:14 pm

    Hi Steve! I have an interesting-one for you: English is not my first language. I have spend in the UK only 2 years now and even though my brain ‘talks’ and works in english, it still isn’t my first language. OK, let’s get to the chase. Sometimes when I talk I look to the right, when I am thinking about the best word to use, or trying to find a different one. Or when I am trying to make sure I talk clear sentences and am understood exactly. I understand what you mean by this theory, but shouldn’t we consider more aspects to come to a conclusion whether someone is lying or not? Isn’t psychology, or respectively the social psychology an unexact science? Isn’t the objectivity only a subject of the subjectivity? Anyway, I will try your theory on native english speakers (already know, tomorrow will ask my colleague if she enjoys the job, in front of the boss:) and will see where her eyes will roll! Or not! Thanks Steve, and will see you soon on your next video! Regards, Viktoria

  117. MichelleIsMomoNo Gravatar on February 2, 2012 6:51 pm

    [..YouTube..] But what if someone is lying to you on the internet?

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