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October 20, 2010 by Steve
Your brain runs everything. It turns on your stomach, dials a heart beat so you can stay alive and runs a million other functions without you even knowing about it.
And guess what else it does?
It solves problems.
Your brain loves to solve problems. It’s the most advanced goal striving mechanism…. always working and striving for new ways to solve your problems.
The way your brain does that is by asking the question WHY.
This is a good thing because it gives us perspective. It helps us gather information and data about what to do next.
But it’s also a curse. Asking WHY something happens can put you in a rut – to the point where you feel trapped and even stuck.
So instead of solving your problem, it creates an even bigger one; a problem that you don’t even know how to get out of.
The question WHY on it’s own – never, ever solves your problems. It only tells you half the story. It only tells you what your problem is, but it never solves it.
Just think if you were at the mechanic. The brakes on your car are squeaking and you want to get them fixed. After a brief inspection your mechanic tells you that the reason your brakes are squeaking is because the rotors on your car have worn down.
He’s telling you why your brakes don’t work – that your rotors are worn down – but he hasn’t told you how to fix them.
- Should you loosen up on your heavy foot?
- Should you buy a more expensive ceramic brake so that your brakes last longer?
- Should you replace your old brakes with the same type and be done with it?
Knowing why something is broken never – ever helps you fix it. It only tells you what’s broken.
But people insist on knowing why their life is not working; why their boyfriend dumped them and why they lost their job. Their mind gets stuck running through these patterns… over and over again wondering why things happen to them.
Like it’s supposed to help them solve their problems; that if they put enough energy and attention on why it happened, then they will eventually figure it all out and finally, once and for all…. life will be good.
Instead, it makes you feel awful.
Once you know why something doesn’t work in your life, pivot from that and start asking a new set of questions. A set of questions that will help you move forward with the data you’ve got.
Ask questions like…
- How can I move forward and overcome this problem?
- How can I easily and effortlessly solve this?
- How can I benefit from this problem?
- How can I overcome this and be a better person for it?
- How can I learn and grow from this experience?
Begin you questioning from “how can I.” This will empower you to see new alternatives and move you into a new direction. Get into the habit of asking better questions. Better questions get you into a better-feeling state so that you become more resourceful and use your brain the way it was intended. To help you create better solutions and create a better life ;)