Archives for Communication
Finding your soulmate happens when you least expect it. It did for me.
It happened back in the summer of 2001.
I had just graduated from University as a Mechanical Engineer.
As summer was in full swing, I was doing the dating thing – and hooking up with any females that caught my eye. I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship – far from it. I just wanted to have fun and explore.
Funny enough… as I was exploring I did have a few specs on my sweetheart.. the perfect girl for me. She had to be athletic… the sporty type who likes to workout or play competitive sports. I was also looking for a blonde… but hair color wasn’t a huge factor, as long as she was physically fit and sexy (at least to me).
Three months later I met my wife - Trisha.
We met in 2001 and then got married in 2006. We don’t have any kids (yet) – just our pooch, Chloe. It’s just the three of us and that’s the way we like it.
I love being married because I married my best buddy. My wife says the same thing about me.
Want to stand out in your career? Want to be one of the top performers in your field? Want to make a bigger difference?
Learn and understand how other people work.
When you learn how people work you can take your toughest clients and turn them into your biggest fans. You can turn your worst nightmares into substantial opportunities. You can turn your failures into your greatest lessons. You just need to understand how people work.
In fact, it’s quite easy. Anyone can do it.
Yes – even you.
I’ve worked with hundreds of engineers over the last decade. Some of these engineers have been some of my close friends and others have been some of the smartest people I know.
These engineers have all sorts of qualifications, training and degrees from some of the most respected Universities in North America – if not the entire world.
What I have found is that no matter how smart, intelligent or well intended these engineers are – a great number of them lack true genius: the ability to effectively communicate and connect with the clients they are trying to serve.
I always tell the junior engineers I work with this: 90% of the problems that will show up on a project will come up as a result of poor communication or a lack of communication altogether with the client or the project team.
It happens because many engineers don’t understand how people work.
Yes – they understand technology, principals and theory. The very essence of engineering – the practice of using and applying scientific knowledge to design and build machines, devices, processes, etc.
This strategy works for me every time and it will work for you too – to make you feel better; and here’s the best part. It’s so simple. You can do it at home, at work, with friends or family – with anyone at all. You could do it with a total stranger!
What am I talking about? Feeling good. It helps you feel better inside and here’s how it works. In order to feel better, you want to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about someone else. Then when you start thinking of them, you do something very specific…..
It’s in the video. Check it out:
The No.1 Strategy to Make You Feel Better
Communication is more than writing and speaking. One of the most overlooked aspects of communication is listening. Being a skillful listener will provide you with a deeper understanding of why people do what they do and will present you with insights about yourself.
‘The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.’ ~ Peter Drucker
The best way to build your listening habit is to practice, practice, and practice. Here are six tips that will help you build the listening habit.
1) Listen for key words. The words people use will tell you a lot about what part of their nervous system they are accessing. If they say words like see, notice, indicate then they are accessing the visual part of their nervous system. These are visual cues. If they use words like hear, listen, say then they are accessing the auditory part of their nervous system. These are auditory cues. If they use words like touching, feeling, flowing then they are accessing the kinesthetic part of their nervous system. These are kinesthetic cues. Some people will tend to rely on auditory cues as opposed to visual and kinesthetic cues which may mean they are primarily an auditory person. This can also apply for people who are primarily visual and kinesthetic.
2) Make eye contact. This will signal to people that you are interested in what they’re saying because you’re paying attention. When you make eye contact with others observe the eye position of the other person. If the person looks up to the right or left then they are accessing the visual part of their nervous system. If the person looks side to side then they are accessing the auditory part of their nervous system. If they look down and to the right then they are accessing the kinesthetic part of their nervous system.
3) Listen for the meaning behind the words. A presupposition of NLP is that a person’s behavior is always driven by a good intention. If you were to listen closely to others you may well find that everyone you speak with is well intended. Listening this way will allow you to hear a person’s underlying commitment or concern as opposed to their judgment or criticism. If you listen to people this way you will develop a thorough understanding of what drives and motivates others.
4) Stop your inner dialogue. We all have that inner voice that wants to contribute to the conversation. Part of becoming a good listener means that you need to put your inner voice aside and start paying attention to others. When you start to do this you will learn more and miss less. I had an experience of this when I was listening to a cab driver. The cab driver just happened to own the cab company and we were talking about entrepreneurship. Since he was an owner I decided to interview him.
By being fully present to what’s important to me and being fully self expressed I feel powerful. This post covers my thoughts on how to choose powerfully from your higher self.
This morning I sent our CEO an email thanking him for getting our management team together. This is what I said,
I just wanted to say how great I think it is that you took the time to update us yesterday. I believe it’s important for management (including mid level management) to understand Enwave’s direction and focus for the future. Thanks for this.
I also think this exercise (of getting us together for feedback/updates) has been valuable for me because I have a better understanding of Enwave’s plans for the future. Not only that but by being part of this meeting and providing you feedback I felt like I was part of the team.
Just my two cents but I think the very act of bringing us together as a team is very powerful and would benefit all considered if it were to happen more frequently.