Archives for Confidence & Self Esteem
Self image is what drives your self esteem. In this video I share an analogy on how it works.
I also give 3 examples where you can develop and amplify your self image.
Problem: Broken Self Image
Signs and symptoms of a broke self image:
- Feeling doubtful
- Worried about what others think
- Over-thinking decisions
Solution: Amplify your self image
More in my video here…
Building your self esteem helps you gain the courage to pursue your dreams – no doubt about it. I believe it’s so important to actively living a successful and fulfilling life. When your self-image is aligned with your higher self, your physical reality shifts to that image.
Here are 3 techniques to “magnify” your self image:
Click here to read more…
September 11, 2011 | 39 Comments
Self esteem issues come from a poor self image. It’s not something “outside” you that gives you the confidence to be brave and bold. It’s always what is inside of you. In this video I share an experience I had with someone who had poor self esteem – and what you can do to raise your own self esteem to gain the courage to pursue your goals even through adversity.
Check it out:
Click here to read more…
Raising your self esteem could be the very thing that sets you apart from the crowd. A high self esteem increases your performance, leverages your productivity and gives you the courage to act in spite of fear. In this video I share the 7 signs of low self esteem. I also give a little background to explain how self esteem works and what you need to do to raise your self esteem.
Let me know how you like…
Here at the 7 Signs of Low Self Esteem:
- Negative Self-Talk
- Fear of Rejection
- Being Materialistic
- A Need to Express Your Accomplishments Publicly
- Value Other Opinions More Than Your Own
- Link Self Esteem to External Conditions
Click here to read more…
May 28, 2010 | 5 Comments
It absolutely does. There are no two ways about it. Your quality of life is driven by your choices and your self esteem or self image directly affects what you choose.
Think about it. What defines a good quality of life?
Is it having stuff? Is it what you do? Are these things important?
Not really. I know a lot of people who thought that having a bigger house, a better car and even having a babe would make them happier. But then they realized the god-awful truth. Having more or better stuff doesn’t increase your quality of life. In some cases it even hinders it.
For me, it’s real simple. A good quality of life comes down to one word: freedom. If you’re free, then your quality of life increases exponentially.
Create Real Freedom
Freedom is the freedom to choose your thoughts, choose your friends and choose your career; it’s choosing the type of cake you want on your birthday or choosing the car you want to drive. It’s choosing the lifestyle you want to live.
If you’re not actively making these choices, then you’re not free. The happiest people I know are choosing freely. They go after what they want and they are happy because they are doing what they love. That’s real freedom.
If you don’t choose then someone else might choose for you. That seems to be the default way most people operate. There is no “have to” or “should do” here. It’s all I-WANT-TO.
But most people operate from a different place. They say,
- “I have to be successful”
- “I have to be a professional speaker”
- “I have to date this girl”
- “I have to get this job”
- “I have to have that car.”
- “I have to go to work”
- “I have to get this so I can do that.”
That’s not real freedom. Anytime you operate from a “have-to” or a “should-do” you create resistance. And this resistance leads to struggle, frustration and in some cases anger and resentment. Then you wonder why you’re so upset at the world.
Stop doing what you “have-to” do and start doing what you really want to do. Make a choice. That’s real freedom.
It doesn’t matter who you are, you’ve always got a choice. Knowing that at any moment you can choose who you want to BE. And by choosing who you want to be you create real freedom.
So you can plainly see that freedom is the key to living a good quality of life. As your ability to choose freely becomes more important than what you “have-to” or “should-do,” your quality of life increases too!
Improve Your Self Esteem and Your Life Improves Click here to read more…
February 16, 2010 | 9 Comments
“Right now, in this moment, you are capable of exponential improvement in your performance. You don’t have to settle for things as they are now. That can change. Dramatically. You haven’t been reaching your full potential. So far, you haven’t even come close.” ~ Price Pritchett
Now for most of us we’ve been taught that the best way to grow and become more is by trying harder. You’ve got to push on through your feelings and do it. Trying harder is how you accomplish more. I’m sure you’ve heard that before.
The problem with always pushing yourself is that it leads to physical symptoms like burnout, fatigue and exhaustion. The harder you try, the worse you feel and in some cases, the less you accomplish.
Not only does this approach create burnout, but it can also creates negative emotional states and feelings like frustration, worry and fear.
Fear is the strongest of all negative emotions. It’s a dream killer and it’s the reason that many people have trouble moving forward with what’s important to them.
As an example let’s say you’re looking at a new career. You would really like to start writing and being more creative because you want to use more of your natural talents and unique abilities.
On the outside it seems like a good idea, but on the inside you have these doubts and fears. You think to yourself,
- “What if I’m not good enough?”
- “What if I’m not smart enough.”
- “What if I’m not qualified?”
- “What if they don’t like me?”
- “What if I’m too old?”
- “What if I’m too young?”
What if, what if, what if? All these doubts running through your mind. So on the outside you really want to take steps to make this new career happen, but on the inside you feel like you’re going through hell trying to get there. You feel stuck.
On one side of the coin you have this desire to grow and express more of who you really are and on the other side your fear is keeping you stuck. Your mind is trying to balance your fears and desires – where one part of you really wants this new career and the other part is resisting.
So how do you get around it?
I’m glad you asked. What we want to do is understand what exactly is controlling your internal thermostat; this balance between your fears and desires. Because once you know how to engage your desires and eliminate your fear, anything is possible.
Your Internal Thermostat Click here to read more…
Building self-confidence is an inside job. To build a real solid foundation in your self-confidence you want to experience yourself in a way that is new or different from past experiences.
This isn’t always easy, but it is very simple. You have to act. I explained two ways to do this in my previous article: How to Build Self-Confidence.
Seeing I can’t work with each of you individually, I’ve got three super tips for building self-confidence. If you take each exercise and act on them daily over the next 5 days – I guarantee you won’t even recognize yourself next week. Your self-confidence will skyrocket.
3 Tips to Build Self-Confidence
Here are 3 tips to build your self-confidence:
1. Release Your Trigger
If you want to build self-confidence quickly, then look for a trigger; an emotional trigger.
What is a trigger?
A trigger is an area in your life where there is a lot of pain and discomfort. When you resolve the pain or discomfort you have pulled the trigger. And this resolution opens up a whole new world of expansion and growth.
I’ll be honest with you. You have to be courageous to pull the trigger and resolve conflict, but when you do – you’ll get access to more power than you ever had before. It’s the release of these triggers that helps you make the largest strides forward ….in the shortest period of time.
In my previous article I explained what a reference experience is and how it can help you develop self-confidence. A reference experience is a launching platform that can lead to bigger actions. The more frequently you create new reference experiences, the faster you build your self-confidence. The problem is having that first experience. You have to take action before you’re ready to take it.
Although building self-confidence is an inside job, it has been my experience that self-confidence comes from the experience of external results. This isn’t easy, but it is very simple. You have to act.
There are two ways to do this. One comes from pain and the other from pleasure.
Love & Self-Confidence
Let’s start with the feel good approach first. Love or gratitude set into action is one of the most powerful ways to create new experiences.
The more often you focus on gratitude, the more often you see the good in your life. And the more good you see, the greater good you perceive. Now take that grateful person and put them in a position where they must raise their level of courage to take new actions. They might look at this new situation and say:
What’s the worst that can happen?
Probably very little… at least to the person with a grateful mind. The person who is grateful only sees the good that can come from their actions. Remember, the grateful mindset illuminates possibility. And if you only see possibility, it increases your willingness to act.
In my own experience, being grateful has given me the courage to take more acts of courage. And these acts have created new reference experiences and a new belief in what is possible in my own life. The net result is increased self-confidence.
Self-confidence is the confidence in one’s abilities, skills and belief in one’s self. Building self-confidence comes from having a new experience of yourself. Each time you have a new experience, you are creating a new launching pad to take bigger and bigger actions; and reap greater results.
Self-confidence is rooted in our reference experiences. Anytime we have an experience that is new or different from one that we’ve had before, there is an opening to create a reference experience. This new platform provides us with a launching pad to dive into greater and greater experiences.
Reference experience – a highly emotional experience we refer to validate new actions.
Anytime we create a new reference experience, we build our confidence globally in all areas of our life. When one area expands, all areas expand. I’ve done this with writing, coaching and speaking.
Here’s how I created new Stepping Stones to Build Self-Confidence in my writing:
Ref Experience No. 1: Before I started writing this blog, I had no previous writing experience. I wrote emails to friends and to co-workers, but that was about it. I didn’t journal, I didn’t doodle, I didn’t write. In high school my grades in English literature were subpar (70-79%). Then something weird happened.
Ref Experience No. 2: I published an article in Confidence Bound Magazine. That took me by surprise and it also created a new reference experience. My confidence soared. I wasn’t just an engineer anymore – I was published as an author in a magazine.
This new reference platform changed what I believe about myself. It gave me a new platform to experience myself; a reference experience. I started to think of what else I could do, not only in writing but in other areas of my life as well. The gates of possibility began to open.
Last night I was in Toronto to participate in a James Arthur Ray live event. Even though we had over 20 cm (8 inches) of snow there was still a great turn out for the seminar. Approximately 450 people attended the event.
The one unique thing about this specific event was the way it was structured. What I’ve noticed is that many international speakers will have an agenda and marketing presentation lined up for their event.
Typically, a live event like this one will work in three parts:
- Introduction and a heart-felt story about the speaker; speaker “earns the right” as the authority in his/her topic
- Content and experiential exercises; the teaching component
- Marketing, product offering and seminar closing
James ran his event slightly differently. He did share his story about how he lost almost everything he had in the early 1990′s. He explained how his life was perfect and then how it seemed to fall apart almost overnight.
About 30 minutes into the event he ran through some experiential exercises to demonstrate the inner game of wealthÂ You probably remember this from my James Arthur Ray – Parallel Universes DVD Review, where James says:
“It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it.” ~ James Arthur Ray
And of course, the man is running a business – so he presented a product offering at the end of the seminar. All pretty standard stuff if you ask me.