Learn the Power of Your Subconscious Mind

Archives for Happiness




Jul

6

Why Being Happy with Yourself Is Harder Than Being Miserable

July 6, 2010 | 4 Comments


The reason being happy with yourself is harder than being miserable is because being miserable has an immediate pay-off. It’s gets you instant gratification.

Think about it.

Generally speaking, people are negative. They bitch and complain.  If you’re one of these people, pay attention - I’m talking to you.

The reason you do this is because it gets attention; and this attention gets the people around you to listen to you and even feel sorry for you - and when others feel sorry for you - you feel cared for and loved.

Feeling miserable is a stepping stone to this pay off - you get attention and feel loved - even if it’s only for a short period of time. Your albeit - unconscious behavior - is driven by your desire to feel loved by others.

That’s the way human behavior works. It’s not logical, but emotionally driven and it happens automatically - without having to think about it.

It’s how we’re wired. The only reason we behave the way we do is because of this emotional pay off. We either move towards emotions that make us feel good or move away from emotions that make us feel bad.

Now think about being happy. What’s the pay off for being in a good mood?

Being Happy With Yourself Is Harder

Happiness is quite the opposite.  Happiness doesn’t have an immediate pay off.  Don’t you find that some people even get irritated with you when you’re happy? How’s that for an immediate pay off?

Click here to read more…

Jun

28

The First Step to Being Happy

June 28, 2010 | 6 Comments


An email from a reader got me thinking about happiness and being happy.  As I started to think about it I realized that being happy is not about how to get happy.  It’s not somewhere you go; it’s not a destination. Being happy comes from eliminating resistance so that we can be in the moment and live in the now.  When you let go of the resistance then you can create happiness.

Here is a question I got via email.  First I’ll share my answer to this question and then I’ll tie it back to resistance and how to take the first step to being happy:

“Do you think happiness comes from inside the person or it is always related with outside people & happenings?”

Happiness and being happy comes from your inner world.  The question comes from a point of awareness. Many people aren’t in-tune with their thoughts and perceptions and don’t realize that we are simultaneously living in two worlds: an inner world and an outer world.

Happiness comes from an understanding the difference between your outer and inner worlds.

Outer World vs Inner World

The outer world is the people in your environment, the car you drive, your home, and anything that is part of the material world.  This is the outer part of you.  It’s everything you’ve accumulated to this point in your life.  It’s the material stuff and people you’ve attracted into your life based on your predominant frequency or vibration.

The things in your outer world have no bearing on your self-worth or importance.  Self worth is defined by your inner world.

Your inner world includes the thoughts, perceptions, feelings and beliefs you have about the world, other people and yourself.  Both the inner world and the outer world work simultaneously to create this miracle called reality.

Being Happy

“Nothing can bring you happiness but yourself.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can’t be happy in the outer world.  Happiness doesn’t exist in the outer world.  You can’t buy it in the grocery store.  You can’t package it up and say, “Hey, here’s some happiness, I picked it up for you.  Grab some while you can.”

Happiness doesn’t exist in the outer world.  It only exists in the inner world.

What’s interesting is that most people have this reversed.  

They laugh when I say you can’t buy happiness at the grocery store. But then they spend the majority of their adult life trying to be happy by striving to buy a bigger home, find a better partner and seek a better job.  Intellectually, they understand that having these things won’t make them happy, but they still seem to pursue these things as if it does.

Some people will say, “I find it hard to believe that the outside world does not make you happy.  I seek a new career and a new relationship. I know I would be happy if I had those things.”

Many people think this and that is why they continue to seek… and once they find it, they might be satisfied (at least for a little while), but it never brings them lasting happiness. It’s only their re-action to the outside world that has them feeling satisfied.

The truth is that happiness comes from the inner world.  You see, even your perception is a reflection of your inner world. Yes, there is no doubt about it - you see the outside world, but you don’t see it as it IS. You never do.

You always see the outer world through your perception; which is a combination of your thoughts, feelings and the beliefs you hold about yourself, other people and the world.

The majority of people are so caught up in their outer world; in the doing, pursuing and getting of things that they don’t take the time to be happy. The impact of the constant doing, having of things and achieving of things leaves people feeling miserable. It’s because we’re designed to live from BEING-DOING-HAVING instead of the other way around. Having doesn’t lead to happiness as I explain in: Don’t Even Think of Filling the Void Until You…

The first step to being happy is acceptance of this great truth: Nothing outside of you will ever make you happy.

The First Step to Being Happy

Back in 2001 I had a really bad mountain biking accident in Interlaken, Switzerland.  I was riding on a mountain trail with a friend of mine at about 40 km/hour (25 mi/hour), I hit a bump, jammed the breaks and managed to fly like super man over the handle bars.

After taking an inventory of my body, I realized I had some serious road rash on my hands, shoulders and elbows.  There was also a lot of blood all over the place leaking from my head and hands.

The look on my friends face (with his eyes bulged wide open) pretty much told the story.  I was in trouble.

A year after the incident I developed a keloid on my left shoulder.  When I went to the beach with friends, it made me feel embarrassed and awkward.  I felt angry that I had been so stupid to get into that accident.  ”What a stupid thing to do,” I thought.  What’s worse is that I started to feel guilty for giving myself such a hard time.

At some point around the 3 year mark after my accident, I let it all go.  I let go of my anger.  I let go of my guilt.  Instead of feeling miserable about how my shoulder looked, I felt lucky to have a healthy shoulder.  I felt lucky to be alive.  I could have died right there on the mountain.

Funny thing happened once I did that.  This keloid started to retreat and shrink.  It flattened out into some scar tissue that’s still around today.  I go to the beach all the time and it’s always great to share my Switzerland story and how I got into this crazy accident.  People love it and it’s a fun story to tell.

It took me 3 years to let go of that emotional baggage.  I still have the scar but I don’t have any judgements about it.  I accept it completely as it is.  Not only did my skin start to heal, but I did too.

The Practice of Happiness

The practice of happiness is the practice of acceptance.  

You want to let go of your attachments and accept things as they are.  Once you accept your current situation and conditions you can create true feelings of joy. The sooner you let go of your resistance the faster things will happen and the happier you’ll be.

The practice of happiness is to continually train yourself to let go of your attachment - to let go of the way you want things to be and trust in the process of manifestation. This is the first step to being happy.

The only way to be truly happy is to let go of your resistance. Move downstream and go with the natural current in your life.

Resistance comes from going against the current in your life. Life is trying to move downstream, but your resistance is holding you up. You might be holding on because you’re scared or even terrified of change. And this attachment creates more resistance, more frustration, more pain.

The secret is to let go.

Letting Go Exercise

For the first five minutes of every day as you start to wake you want to pay attention to your thoughts.  You don’t want to identify with them - you are not your thoughts. Your thoughts are just a tool that you use to help guide and direct your life. The best way to detach from your thoughts is to observe them.

It’s a simple exercise. Take the third person perspective and observe the pictures and voices in your head.  As these thoughts come to you, just let them come and go.  Don’t hold onto any one thought, just observe.

You can read the rest of this article here: Why Being Happy with Yourself is Harder Than Being Miserable
Click here to read more…

Jun

22

Byways of Blessedness by James Allen

June 22, 2010 | Leave a Comment


Guest post published with permission from Tony Gallivan.

Life is full of beginnings. They are presented every day and every hour to every person. Most beginnings are small, and appear trivial and insignificant, but in reality they are the most important things in life.

See how in the material world everything proceeds from small beginnings. The mightiest river is at first a rivulet over which the grasshopper could leap; the great flood commences with a few drops of rain; the sturdy oak, which has endured the storms of a thousand winters, was once an acorn; and the smoldering match, carelessly dropped, may be the means of devastating a whole town by fire.

The Greatest Things Proceed from the Smallest Beginnings

Consider, also, how in the spiritual world the greatest things proceed from smallest beginnings. A light fancy may be the inception of a wonderful invention or an immortal work of art; a spoken sentence may turn the tide of history; a pure thought entertained may lead to the exercise of a world-wide regenerative power; and a momentary animal impulse may lead to the darkest crime.

Have you yet discovered the vast importance of beginnings?  Do you really know what is involved in a beginning?  Do you know the number of beginnings you are continuously making, and realize their full import?

If not, come with me for a short time, and thoughtfully explore this much ignored byway of blessedness, for blessed it is when wisely resorted to, and much strength and comfort it holds for the understanding mind.

A beginning is a cause, and as such it must be followed by an effect, or a train of effects, and the effect will always be of the same nature as the cause.

The nature of an initial impulse will always determine the body of its results. A beginning also presupposes an ending, a consummation, achievement, or goal. A gate leads to a path, and the path leads to some particular destination; so a beginning leads to results, and results lead to a completion.

There Are Right Beginnings and Wrong Beginnings

There are right beginnings and wrong beginnings, which are followed by effects of a like nature. You can, by careful thought, avoid wrong beginnings and make right beginnings, and so escape evil results and enjoy good results.

There are beginnings over which you have no control and authority- these are
without, in the universe, in the world of nature around you, and in other people who have the same liberty as yourself.

Do not concern yourself with these beginnings, but direct your energies and attention to those beginnings over which you have complete control and authority, and which bring about the complicated web of results which compose your life.

These beginnings are to be found in the realm of your own thoughts and actions; in your mental attitude under the variety of circumstances through which you pass; in your conduct day by day - in short, in your life as you make it, which is your world of good or ill.

In aiming at the life of Blessedness one of the simplest beginnings to be considered and rightly made is that which we all make everyday - namely, the beginning of each day’s life.

Begin a Life of Blessedness

How do you begin each day? At what hour do you rise? How do you commence your duties? In what frame of mind do you enter upon the sacred life of a new day? What answer can you give your heart to these important questions?

You will find that much happiness or unhappiness follows upon the right or wrong beginning of the day, and that, when every day is wisely begun, happy and harmonious sequences will mark its course, and life in its totality will not fall far short of the ideal blessedness.

It is a right and strong beginning to the day to rise at an early hour. Even if your worldly duty does not demand it, it is wise to make of it a duty, and begin the day strongly by shaking off indolence.

How are you to develop strength of will and mind and body if you begin every day by yielding to weakness? Self-indulgence is always followed by unhappiness. People who lie in bed till a late hour are never bright and cheerful and fresh, but are the prey of irritabilities, depressions, debilities, nervous disorders, abnormal fancies, and all unhappy moods.

This is the heavy price which they have to pay for their daily indulgence.

Yet, so blinding is the pandering to self that, like the drunkard who takes his daily dram in the belief that it is bracing up the nerves which it is all the time shattering, so the lie-a-bed is convinced that long hours of ease are necessary for him as a possible remedy for those very moods and weaknesses and disorders of which his indulgence is the cause.

Men and women are totally unaware of the great losses which they entail by this common indulgence: loss of strength both of mind and body, loss of prosperity, loss of knowledge, and loss of happiness.

Begin the Day by Rising Early

Begin the day, then, by rising early. If you have no object in doing so, never mind; get up, and go out for a gentle walk among the beauties of nature, and you will experience a buoyancy, a freshness, and a delight, not to say a peace of mind, which will amply reward you for your effort.

One good effort is followed by another; and when a man begins the day by rising early, even though with no other purpose in view, he will find that the silent early hour is conducive to clearness of mind and calmness of thought, and that his early morning walk is enabling him to become a consecutive thinker, and so to see life and its problems, as well as himself and his affairs, in a clearer light; and so in time he will rise early with the express purpose of preparing and harmonizing his mind to meet any and every difficulty with wisdom and calm strength.

There is, indeed, a spiritual influence in the early morning hour, a divine silence and an inexpressible repose, and he who, purposeful and strong, throws off the mantle of ease and climbs the hills to greet the morning sun will thereby climb no inconsiderable distance up the hills of blessedness and truth.

The right beginning of the day will be followed by cheerfulness at the morning meal, permeating the house-hold with a sunny influence; and the tasks and duties of the day will be undertaken in a strong and confident spirit, and the whole day will be well lived.

Then there is a sense in which every day may be regarded as the beginning of a new life, in which one can think, act, and live newly, and in a wiser and better spirit.

This is only part of the first chapter of the great wisdom from Mr Allen’s Byways of Blessedness. If you would like a FULL COPY of Byways of Blessedness click here Byways of Blessedness. Click here to read more…