How to Detach Yourself From Your Desired Outcome

Sometimes one of the hardest things to do when aspiring to achieve new goals is to just let them go.  I know there have been times when I tried everything I could do to make something happen, except for the easiest thing – to just let it go.  And sometimes the easiest things are the most effective.

In this video I’ll share what it means to be attached and how to detach yourself from your desired outcome.

How to Detach Yourself From Your Desired Outcome

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If you enjoyed this video, then you’ll also enjoy: Why Is It Taking So Long To Reach Your Goals?

101 Comments

  • Srinivas Rao

    Reply Reply November 24, 2009

    Hey Steve,

    Thanks for this video. I’ve been in a funk for the last few days because I haven’t been able to surf and a few other things in my life. But this made me feel alot better.

  • Cindy P.

    Reply Reply November 24, 2009

    Thanks so much Steve for your vedio. I know what you mean. I will try my best on this. Slowly getting there. I will keep you posted. Hope you have a happy holiday.

  • Steve

    Reply Reply November 24, 2009

    Hi Cindy,

    Letting go is an art form that comes with practice. Like I said in the video, it’s something I still struggle with at times.

    Sometimes the only thing for us to do is to just let go….

  • Theresa

    Reply Reply November 24, 2009

    Steve,
    Your video could not have come at a better time. I didn’t achieve a specific goal I’d been working towards over the past 6 months and was wondering what I did wrong. This provides more clarity and has been immensely helpful. Thanks as always! You are do a great service to the people who subscribe to your blog.

    Happy holidays!

    T

  • debbie ailman

    Reply Reply November 25, 2009

    This is wonderful- you hit the nail on the head with this one! Thank you, Steve!

  • Renee

    Reply Reply December 2, 2009

    Nicely stated! Can you share an article on http://intuitivemeaning.com ?

  • Steve

    Reply Reply December 2, 2009

    Hi Renee,

    You can email me privately if you’d like to use my articles on your site. I don’t have a copyright policy, but do ask that all websites use my byline and link back to my blog at the end of the article.

    Steve

  • clintonskakun

    Reply Reply March 15, 2010

    [..YouTube..] Amazing! I’m always doing that…guess I need to stop overthinking.

  • clintonskakun

    Reply Reply March 15, 2010

    [..YouTube..] Amazing! I’m always doing that…guess I need to stop overthinking.

  • clintonskakun

    Reply Reply March 15, 2010

    [..YouTube..] Amazing! I’m always doing that…guess I need to stop overthinking.

  • clintonskakun

    Reply Reply March 15, 2010

    [..YouTube..] Amazing! I’m always doing that…guess I need to stop overthinking.

  • clintonskakun

    Reply Reply March 15, 2010

    [..YouTube..] Amazing! I’m always doing that…guess I need to stop overthinking.

  • clintonskakun

    Reply Reply March 15, 2010

    [..YouTube..] Amazing! I’m always doing that…guess I need to stop overthinking.

  • clintonskakun

    Reply Reply March 15, 2010

    Amazing! I’m always doing that…guess I need to stop overthinking.

  • greyxwind

    Reply Reply March 19, 2010

    [..YouTube..] good advice my friend

  • greyxwind

    Reply Reply March 19, 2010

    [..YouTube..] good advice my friend

  • greyxwind

    Reply Reply March 19, 2010

    [..YouTube..] good advice my friend

  • greyxwind

    Reply Reply March 19, 2010

    [..YouTube..] good advice my friend

  • greyxwind

    Reply Reply March 19, 2010

    [..YouTube..] good advice my friend

  • greyxwind

    Reply Reply March 19, 2010

    good advice my friend

  • Mark

    Reply Reply August 17, 2010

    Hi Steve,

    Is thinking about what you want the same as attached to the outcome?
    Because the outcome i dont care about HOW its going to happen, but THAT it happens.
    I have a such hard time of let go, keep thinking about it 24/7
    I tried so many things, but its always there in the back of my mind.
    Thus not the way how, but that it comes.

    I hope you understand what i am trying to say, because English is not my mother language.

    Thank you so much,

  • Steve

    Reply Reply August 17, 2010

    Hey Mark,

    Read to the end of this article for an exercise that will help. You’ll appreciate it. It’s called: The First Step to Being Happy

  • Mark

    Reply Reply August 18, 2010

    Hi Steve,

    But isnt detaching from something, the same as giving up?
    How can you detache while on the other hand visualize everyday and feeling as if you already have what you want?
    Than you are attached with something or am i wrong?

    Mark

  • Steve

    Reply Reply August 19, 2010

    @ Mark…. nope!

    Being detached is not giving up; it’s letting go of something that is not working; it’s being flexible enough to change your focus and move in a new direction, to take a different approach. Being detached is looking for new opportunities… and above all being detached is being happy and ACCEPTING of what is… instead of needing to have everything in place so that you can be happy.

    You’ll also appreciate this video: 3 Stages to Goal Achievement

    Steve

  • Mark

    Reply Reply August 19, 2010

    Hi Steve,

    But isnt that saying to the Universe or God or whatever everyone gives name too, i dont want it anymore?
    Because i think that if i let go of what i really want, what my hearts desire is, my dream of life, i give signals saying i dont want it anymore, but instead i want it more than anything.

  • Steve

    Reply Reply August 19, 2010

    That’s the distinction Mark, your “wanting” this so badly just creates more “wanting” in your experience… and guess what happens??

    You want it more than ever, which just creates more of that experience of “wanting” and the Universe gives you exactly what you want, which is more wanting…

    Steve

  • Secretlyastonishing

    Reply Reply September 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] In a way what you say is like Buddhism. Cool.

  • Secretlyastonishing

    Reply Reply September 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] In a way what you say is like Buddhism. Cool.

  • Secretlyastonishing

    Reply Reply September 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] In a way what you say is like Buddhism. Cool.

  • Secretlyastonishing

    Reply Reply September 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] In a way what you say is like Buddhism. Cool.

  • Secretlyastonishing

    Reply Reply September 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] In a way what you say is like Buddhism. Cool.

  • Secretlyastonishing

    Reply Reply September 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] In a way what you say is like Buddhism. Cool.

  • Rae'

    Reply Reply October 8, 2010

    Hi, I completely understand what you’re saying by letting the outcome go. But,theres one part that confuses me. When you visualize what you want, should you visulize it once, and then let it go? Or should you continue to visualize it often?

  • Steve

    Reply Reply October 8, 2010

    Hi Rae’

    I suggest you visualize it at least once per day for 5 minutes and then let it go.

  • TheSOCIALSUISIDE

    Reply Reply October 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS VIDEO ON DETACHMENT HELPED ME IN MY JOURNY !

  • TheSOCIALSUISIDE

    Reply Reply October 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS VIDEO ON DETACHMENT HELPED ME IN MY JOURNY !

  • TheSOCIALSUISIDE

    Reply Reply October 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS VIDEO ON DETACHMENT HELPED ME IN MY JOURNY !

  • TheSOCIALSUISIDE

    Reply Reply October 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS VIDEO ON DETACHMENT HELPED ME IN MY JOURNY !

  • TheSOCIALSUISIDE

    Reply Reply October 21, 2010

    [..YouTube..] YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS VIDEO ON DETACHMENT HELPED ME IN MY JOURNY !

  • TheSOCIALSUISIDE

    Reply Reply October 21, 2010

    YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS VIDEO ON DETACHMENT HELPED ME IN MY JOURNY !

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply October 24, 2010

    [..YouTube..] @TheSOCIALSUISIDE:

    You are welcome!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply October 24, 2010

    [..YouTube..] @TheSOCIALSUISIDE:

    You are welcome!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply October 24, 2010

    [..YouTube..] @TheSOCIALSUISIDE:

    You are welcome!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply October 24, 2010

    [..YouTube..] @TheSOCIALSUISIDE:

    You are welcome!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply October 24, 2010

    [..YouTube..] @TheSOCIALSUISIDE:

    You are welcome!

  • Steve Martile

    Reply Reply October 24, 2010

    @TheSOCIALSUISIDE:

    You are welcome!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Your paper assignment was such a great example! I’m in the exact same situation right now, I have all this work sitting in front of me, and although I would like to run off and do something more fun and enjoyable like i’ve done before, I keep thinking I have noooo time to waste. But it’s true, once you let go and detach yourself from certain ways of thinking everything else seems to fall into place. thanks for this video stephen!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Your paper assignment was such a great example! I’m in the exact same situation right now, I have all this work sitting in front of me, and although I would like to run off and do something more fun and enjoyable like i’ve done before, I keep thinking I have noooo time to waste. But it’s true, once you let go and detach yourself from certain ways of thinking everything else seems to fall into place. thanks for this video stephen!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Your paper assignment was such a great example! I’m in the exact same situation right now, I have all this work sitting in front of me, and although I would like to run off and do something more fun and enjoyable like i’ve done before, I keep thinking I have noooo time to waste. But it’s true, once you let go and detach yourself from certain ways of thinking everything else seems to fall into place. thanks for this video stephen!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Your paper assignment was such a great example! I’m in the exact same situation right now, I have all this work sitting in front of me, and although I would like to run off and do something more fun and enjoyable like i’ve done before, I keep thinking I have noooo time to waste. But it’s true, once you let go and detach yourself from certain ways of thinking everything else seems to fall into place. thanks for this video stephen!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Your paper assignment was such a great example! I’m in the exact same situation right now, I have all this work sitting in front of me, and although I would like to run off and do something more fun and enjoyable like i’ve done before, I keep thinking I have noooo time to waste. But it’s true, once you let go and detach yourself from certain ways of thinking everything else seems to fall into place. thanks for this video stephen!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Your paper assignment was such a great example! I’m in the exact same situation right now, I have all this work sitting in front of me, and although I would like to run off and do something more fun and enjoyable like i’ve done before, I keep thinking I have noooo time to waste. But it’s true, once you let go and detach yourself from certain ways of thinking everything else seems to fall into place. thanks for this video stephen!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    Your paper assignment was such a great example! I’m in the exact same situation right now, I have all this work sitting in front of me, and although I would like to run off and do something more fun and enjoyable like i’ve done before, I keep thinking I have noooo time to waste. But it’s true, once you let go and detach yourself from certain ways of thinking everything else seems to fall into place. thanks for this video stephen!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @MariaJose89: Hey Maria – you’re welcome!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @MariaJose89: Hey Maria – you’re welcome!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @MariaJose89: Hey Maria – you’re welcome!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @MariaJose89: Hey Maria – you’re welcome!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @MariaJose89: Hey Maria – you’re welcome!

  • Steve Martile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    @MariaJose89: Hey Maria – you’re welcome!

  • jordanwhite11

    Reply Reply April 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Someone please help me. How can I detach myself from outcome if:

    I’m going through this process to achieve a greater outcome.

    If I desire something I want a positive outcome. How can I detach from it?

  • jordanwhite11

    Reply Reply April 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Someone please help me. How can I detach myself from outcome if:

    I’m going through this process to achieve a greater outcome.

    If I desire something I want a positive outcome. How can I detach from it?

  • jordanwhite11

    Reply Reply April 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Someone please help me. How can I detach myself from outcome if:

    I’m going through this process to achieve a greater outcome.

    If I desire something I want a positive outcome. How can I detach from it?

  • jordanwhite11

    Reply Reply April 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Someone please help me. How can I detach myself from outcome if:

    I’m going through this process to achieve a greater outcome.

    If I desire something I want a positive outcome. How can I detach from it?

  • jordanwhite11

    Reply Reply April 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Someone please help me. How can I detach myself from outcome if:

    I’m going through this process to achieve a greater outcome.

    If I desire something I want a positive outcome. How can I detach from it?

  • jordanwhite11

    Reply Reply April 27, 2011

    Someone please help me. How can I detach myself from outcome if:

    I’m going through this process to achieve a greater outcome.

    If I desire something I want a positive outcome. How can I detach from it?

  • bigbentony

    Reply Reply July 2, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Great message, but get to the point!

  • bigbentony

    Reply Reply July 2, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Great message, but get to the point!

  • bigbentony

    Reply Reply July 2, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Great message, but get to the point!

  • bigbentony

    Reply Reply July 2, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Great message, but get to the point!

  • bigbentony

    Reply Reply July 2, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Great message, but get to the point!

  • bigbentony

    Reply Reply July 2, 2011

    Great message, but get to the point!

  • yummy796

    Reply Reply September 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Nice! This does work- always!

  • yummy796

    Reply Reply September 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Nice! This does work- always!

  • yummy796

    Reply Reply September 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Nice! This does work- always!

  • yummy796

    Reply Reply September 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Nice! This does work- always!

  • yummy796

    Reply Reply September 18, 2011

    Nice! This does work- always!

  • Famfriass

    Reply Reply October 26, 2011

    [..YouTube..] How can I emotionally detach myself from my boyfriend and the relationship? It hurts me mentally and emotionally being in love with someone who doesn’t seem to be all that serious about me or the relationship. I just want to feel free, I want to be happy and the only way I believe I will be able to accomplish this is by not being emotionally attached to him. I don’t want to hate him or anything, I just want to have the carefree attitude that if it works, ok, if not, it’s still ok.

  • Famfriass

    Reply Reply October 26, 2011

    [..YouTube..] How can I emotionally detach myself from my boyfriend and the relationship? It hurts me mentally and emotionally being in love with someone who doesn’t seem to be all that serious about me or the relationship. I just want to feel free, I want to be happy and the only way I believe I will be able to accomplish this is by not being emotionally attached to him. I don’t want to hate him or anything, I just want to have the carefree attitude that if it works, ok, if not, it’s still ok.

  • Famfriass

    Reply Reply October 26, 2011

    [..YouTube..] How can I emotionally detach myself from my boyfriend and the relationship? It hurts me mentally and emotionally being in love with someone who doesn’t seem to be all that serious about me or the relationship. I just want to feel free, I want to be happy and the only way I believe I will be able to accomplish this is by not being emotionally attached to him. I don’t want to hate him or anything, I just want to have the carefree attitude that if it works, ok, if not, it’s still ok.

  • Famfriass

    Reply Reply October 26, 2011

    [..YouTube..] How can I emotionally detach myself from my boyfriend and the relationship? It hurts me mentally and emotionally being in love with someone who doesn’t seem to be all that serious about me or the relationship. I just want to feel free, I want to be happy and the only way I believe I will be able to accomplish this is by not being emotionally attached to him. I don’t want to hate him or anything, I just want to have the carefree attitude that if it works, ok, if not, it’s still ok.

  • Famfriass

    Reply Reply October 26, 2011

    [..YouTube..] How can I emotionally detach myself from my boyfriend and the relationship? It hurts me mentally and emotionally being in love with someone who doesn’t seem to be all that serious about me or the relationship. I just want to feel free, I want to be happy and the only way I believe I will be able to accomplish this is by not being emotionally attached to him. I don’t want to hate him or anything, I just want to have the carefree attitude that if it works, ok, if not, it’s still ok.

  • Famfriass

    Reply Reply October 26, 2011

    [..YouTube..] How can I emotionally detach myself from my boyfriend and the relationship? It hurts me mentally and emotionally being in love with someone who doesn’t seem to be all that serious about me or the relationship. I just want to feel free, I want to be happy and the only way I believe I will be able to accomplish this is by not being emotionally attached to him. I don’t want to hate him or anything, I just want to have the carefree attitude that if it works, ok, if not, it’s still ok.

  • TheLabelmoney

    Reply Reply March 14, 2012

    [..YouTube..] SELF IS FICTION WHEN CONCEPT IS FACT…a quick fix solution to western understandings is now the new religion in the states, eastern practices are interwoven with old culture and indian spirituality…not this chopra nonsense created for the confused over consumers of the west…this is pro individualism me thinks…whats next? detached yoga?

  • TheLabelmoney

    Reply Reply March 14, 2012

    SELF IS FICTION WHEN CONCEPT IS FACT…a quick fix solution to western understandings is now the new religion in the states, eastern practices are interwoven with old culture and indian spirituality…not this chopra nonsense created for the confused over consumers of the west…this is pro individualism me thinks…whats next? detached yoga?

  • Mary Grace Chua

    Reply Reply March 16, 2012

    I just learned to appreciate everything and attach to nothing :)

  • PrettyBoyAshton

    Reply Reply March 27, 2012

    [..YouTube..] works:)

  • Ashton Hamilton

    Reply Reply March 27, 2012

    works:)

  • MrWIZARD1220

    Reply Reply September 25, 2012

    Thanks man really thanks

  • Satish Torani

    Reply Reply September 26, 2012

    Let go, move to the next moment & trust whatever you believe in… thanks Stephen, really like how you have simplified the stuff :)

  • brandon7459

    Reply Reply September 30, 2012

    yur awsome bro, ive been tryin to use the law of attraction for a few months n actually seeing results when i just trust that what i want is coming and just trying to enjoy everyday life with that belief, but latley ive been getting stressed and my mind feels like a tornado of negative thoughts cuz it hasn’t manifested yet but yur vid helped mann

  • loufreebird

    Reply Reply February 24, 2013

    Have you ever tried using an older industrial floor wax buffing machine? They don’t work if you use muscle, even though they’re heavy, but spin dangerously out of control unless you use a light grip. Counter-intuitive, but true. Damn, I wish I could master emotion & practice what I know!! So, a year later, how did it go, what was your outcome, and what did YOU learn?

  • frankaz07

    Reply Reply June 8, 2013

    Good stuff steve,~

  • steven valdez

    Reply Reply June 22, 2013

    Steven!!!!!!!

  • dmxfan454

    Reply Reply July 6, 2013

    Good vids man, keep em rollin

  • paracena

    Reply Reply July 8, 2013

    thank you!!!

  • OptimisticWellness

    Reply Reply September 11, 2013

    Awesome video, Steve!

  • Dionn FLR

    Reply Reply November 9, 2013

    very nice videos…this one is very powerful one. Thanks for the insight.
    It is very inspirational

  • mike3177

    Reply Reply January 9, 2014

    Good video dude, but work on your dancing lol.

  • pamBBB

    Reply Reply February 5, 2014

    haha! I was looking for this video because I was getting anxious again
    about my desire and worrying, but, this video actually makes me feel
    better. I still have a specific desire, but I feel ok to “let go”, and
    trust that the universe will bring it to me, somehow. I hope this is the
    real message of the video, because the other “letting go” videos did not
    fly with me, felt like they wanted me to give up on my goal.

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