How to Work with People Who Irritate You

Working with people who irritate you on a regular basis can drain your energy and dampen your spirits. I came across a situation like this last week. In this video I share how I dealt with this person in a supportive way that was a win-win and what you can do with people who irritate you.


61 Comments

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] with needless internal anger and stress, which took a toll on my nerves and physical wellbeing. Perhaps I could have overcome it with a mantra similar to yours. It now seemes such a waste of energy. Thanks for your inspirational vids!

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] with needless internal anger and stress, which took a toll on my nerves and physical wellbeing. Perhaps I could have overcome it with a mantra similar to yours. It now seemes such a waste of energy. Thanks for your inspirational vids!

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] with needless internal anger and stress, which took a toll on my nerves and physical wellbeing. Perhaps I could have overcome it with a mantra similar to yours. It now seemes such a waste of energy. Thanks for your inspirational vids!

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] with needless internal anger and stress, which took a toll on my nerves and physical wellbeing. Perhaps I could have overcome it with a mantra similar to yours. It now seemes such a waste of energy. Thanks for your inspirational vids!

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] with needless internal anger and stress, which took a toll on my nerves and physical wellbeing. Perhaps I could have overcome it with a mantra similar to yours. It now seemes such a waste of energy. Thanks for your inspirational vids!

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] with needless internal anger and stress, which took a toll on my nerves and physical wellbeing. Perhaps I could have overcome it with a mantra similar to yours. It now seemes such a waste of energy. Thanks for your inspirational vids!

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    with needless internal anger and stress, which took a toll on my nerves and physical wellbeing. Perhaps I could have overcome it with a mantra similar to yours. It now seemes such a waste of energy. Thanks for your inspirational vids!

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Very good, Stephen. I was publicly accused/challenged by someone (from my perception) who misunderstood my intentions, and had no way to defend myself without spoiling my own best interests. I tried to erase the anger through positive thinking but it would always come back. It gnawed at me for several months. As it turned out, she later realized she had misunderstood me and extended a hand of conciliation, which it took me over a week to accept. Now things are fine, but I spent months (cont.)

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Very good, Stephen. I was publicly accused/challenged by someone (from my perception) who misunderstood my intentions, and had no way to defend myself without spoiling my own best interests. I tried to erase the anger through positive thinking but it would always come back. It gnawed at me for several months. As it turned out, she later realized she had misunderstood me and extended a hand of conciliation, which it took me over a week to accept. Now things are fine, but I spent months (cont.)

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Very good, Stephen. I was publicly accused/challenged by someone (from my perception) who misunderstood my intentions, and had no way to defend myself without spoiling my own best interests. I tried to erase the anger through positive thinking but it would always come back. It gnawed at me for several months. As it turned out, she later realized she had misunderstood me and extended a hand of conciliation, which it took me over a week to accept. Now things are fine, but I spent months (cont.)

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Very good, Stephen. I was publicly accused/challenged by someone (from my perception) who misunderstood my intentions, and had no way to defend myself without spoiling my own best interests. I tried to erase the anger through positive thinking but it would always come back. It gnawed at me for several months. As it turned out, she later realized she had misunderstood me and extended a hand of conciliation, which it took me over a week to accept. Now things are fine, but I spent months (cont.)

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Very good, Stephen. I was publicly accused/challenged by someone (from my perception) who misunderstood my intentions, and had no way to defend myself without spoiling my own best interests. I tried to erase the anger through positive thinking but it would always come back. It gnawed at me for several months. As it turned out, she later realized she had misunderstood me and extended a hand of conciliation, which it took me over a week to accept. Now things are fine, but I spent months (cont.)

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Very good, Stephen. I was publicly accused/challenged by someone (from my perception) who misunderstood my intentions, and had no way to defend myself without spoiling my own best interests. I tried to erase the anger through positive thinking but it would always come back. It gnawed at me for several months. As it turned out, she later realized she had misunderstood me and extended a hand of conciliation, which it took me over a week to accept. Now things are fine, but I spent months (cont.)

  • gabsylv

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    Very good, Stephen. I was publicly accused/challenged by someone (from my perception) who misunderstood my intentions, and had no way to defend myself without spoiling my own best interests. I tried to erase the anger through positive thinking but it would always come back. It gnawed at me for several months. As it turned out, she later realized she had misunderstood me and extended a hand of conciliation, which it took me over a week to accept. Now things are fine, but I spent months (cont.)

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @gabsylv… blessings

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @gabsylv… blessings

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @gabsylv… blessings

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @gabsylv… blessings 

  • Steve Martile

    Reply Reply February 27, 2011

    @gabsylv… blessings

  • snake1921

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] I can see how this would be true… I was trying to get a job on the local base here, and a schooling program…. I got very irritated in myself, kept saying I wasnt going to make it…and it was stressful…work that day and for a couple days was very stressful..But I know where it came from….Thanks for posting..

  • snake1921

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] I can see how this would be true… I was trying to get a job on the local base here, and a schooling program…. I got very irritated in myself, kept saying I wasnt going to make it…and it was stressful…work that day and for a couple days was very stressful..But I know where it came from….Thanks for posting..

  • snake1921

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] I can see how this would be true… I was trying to get a job on the local base here, and a schooling program…. I got very irritated in myself, kept saying I wasnt going to make it…and it was stressful…work that day and for a couple days was very stressful..But I know where it came from….Thanks for posting..

  • snake1921

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] I can see how this would be true… I was trying to get a job on the local base here, and a schooling program…. I got very irritated in myself, kept saying I wasnt going to make it…and it was stressful…work that day and for a couple days was very stressful..But I know where it came from….Thanks for posting..

  • snake1921

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] I can see how this would be true… I was trying to get a job on the local base here, and a schooling program…. I got very irritated in myself, kept saying I wasnt going to make it…and it was stressful…work that day and for a couple days was very stressful..But I know where it came from….Thanks for posting..

  • snake1921

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] I can see how this would be true… I was trying to get a job on the local base here, and a schooling program…. I got very irritated in myself, kept saying I wasnt going to make it…and it was stressful…work that day and for a couple days was very stressful..But I know where it came from….Thanks for posting..

  • snake1921

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    I can see how this would be true… I was trying to get a job on the local base here, and a schooling program…. I got very irritated in myself, kept saying I wasnt going to make it…and it was stressful…work that day and for a couple days was very stressful..But I know where it came from….Thanks for posting..

  • kakosuranosx

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Hey Stephen!
    Great video and info.
    Keep it up!
    Kostas.

  • kakosuranosx

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Hey Stephen!
    Great video and info.
    Keep it up!
    Kostas.

  • kakosuranosx

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Hey Stephen!
    Great video and info.
    Keep it up!
    Kostas.

  • kakosuranosx

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Hey Stephen!
    Great video and info.
    Keep it up!
    Kostas.

  • kakosuranosx

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Hey Stephen!
    Great video and info.
    Keep it up!
    Kostas.

  • kakosuranosx

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    Hey Stephen!
    Great video and info.
    Keep it up!
    Kostas.

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @snake1921: sweet… thanks for the comments!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @snake1921: sweet… thanks for the comments!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @snake1921: sweet… thanks for the comments!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @snake1921: sweet… thanks for the comments!

  • Steve Martile

    Reply Reply February 28, 2011

    @snake1921: sweet… thanks for the comments!

  • I really like it when people can see outside the box and realize we have so much more control than we thought.

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] It’s good to meet people who are aware of this reality such as this one. I wish more people in the world understood that nothing is personal and that everything is from within. The way we perceive things will dictate our actions. We must take responsibilities for ourselves :)
    Have you read any of Eckhart Tolle’s books?
    Take care!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] It’s good to meet people who are aware of this reality such as this one. I wish more people in the world understood that nothing is personal and that everything is from within. The way we perceive things will dictate our actions. We must take responsibilities for ourselves :)
    Have you read any of Eckhart Tolle’s books?
    Take care!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] It’s good to meet people who are aware of this reality such as this one. I wish more people in the world understood that nothing is personal and that everything is from within. The way we perceive things will dictate our actions. We must take responsibilities for ourselves :)
    Have you read any of Eckhart Tolle’s books?
    Take care!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] It’s good to meet people who are aware of this reality such as this one. I wish more people in the world understood that nothing is personal and that everything is from within. The way we perceive things will dictate our actions. We must take responsibilities for ourselves :)
    Have you read any of Eckhart Tolle’s books?
    Take care!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] It’s good to meet people who are aware of this reality such as this one. I wish more people in the world understood that nothing is personal and that everything is from within. The way we perceive things will dictate our actions. We must take responsibilities for ourselves :)
    Have you read any of Eckhart Tolle’s books?
    Take care!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    [..YouTube..] It’s good to meet people who are aware of this reality such as this one. I wish more people in the world understood that nothing is personal and that everything is from within. The way we perceive things will dictate our actions. We must take responsibilities for ourselves :)
    Have you read any of Eckhart Tolle’s books?
    Take care!

  • MariaJose89

    Reply Reply April 6, 2011

    It’s good to meet people who are aware of this reality such as this one. I wish more people in the world understood that nothing is personal and that everything is from within. The way we perceive things will dictate our actions. We must take responsibilities for ourselves :)
    Have you read any of Eckhart Tolle’s books?
    Take care!

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @MariaJose89:

    Hey Maria – I don’t think I’ve ever read a whole book of Eckhart Tolle, but I have read a few chapters and watched quite a few of his videos online – very cool… :)

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @MariaJose89:

    Hey Maria – I don’t think I’ve ever read a whole book of Eckhart Tolle, but I have read a few chapters and watched quite a few of his videos online – very cool… :)

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @MariaJose89:

    Hey Maria – I don’t think I’ve ever read a whole book of Eckhart Tolle, but I have read a few chapters and watched quite a few of his videos online – very cool… :)

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @MariaJose89:

    Hey Maria – I don’t think I’ve ever read a whole book of Eckhart Tolle, but I have read a few chapters and watched quite a few of his videos online – very cool… :)

  • stephenmartile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    [..YouTube..] @MariaJose89:

    Hey Maria - I don’t think I’ve ever read a whole book of Eckhart Tolle, but I have read a few chapters and watched quite a few of his videos online – very cool… :)

  • Steve Martile

    Reply Reply April 18, 2011

    @MariaJose89:

    Hey Maria – I don’t think I’ve ever read a whole book of Eckhart Tolle, but I have read a few chapters and watched quite a few of his videos online – very cool… :)

  • ImagineMedia

    Reply Reply December 31, 2011

    [..YouTube..] Ur hard to relate to. ur bad a public speakin, and the longer I listen to you the more I think your on something. Its not life. Its meds and I feel like i’ve had more intelligent conversations with a 10 year old. Sorry I just don’t like you. However you’d probably interpret that as me having low self esteem. Too bad urs is so low ur only concerned with others

  • ImagineMedia

    Reply Reply December 31, 2011

    Ur hard to relate to. ur bad a public speakin, and the longer I listen to you the more I think your on something. Its not life. Its meds and I feel like i’ve had more intelligent conversations with a 10 year old. Sorry I just don’t like you. However you’d probably interpret that as me having low self esteem. Too bad urs is so low ur only concerned with others

  • mizzy118118

    Reply Reply January 3, 2012

    [..YouTube..] awishywell

  • mizzy118118

    Reply Reply January 3, 2012

    awishywell

  • ashtonriggers1111

    Reply Reply February 3, 2012

    [..YouTube..] ego lols

  • ashtonriggers1111

    Reply Reply February 3, 2012

    ego lols

  • Lawrence Blake

    Reply Reply December 21, 2012

    You’re cute!

  • Marie

    Reply Reply May 2, 2013

    Hi!

    Also, to alternate between “I Wish You Well” and “I Wish Myself Well” can be helpful – since (as you also mentioned) the irritation most likely originates from within you and your life situation.

    Thank You Steve, I appreciate your sharing your knowledge!

    Marie

  • Dan Hammonds

    Reply Reply July 6, 2013

    One method I used with people like this is to mentally frame them in a sitcom setting.

    In fact, I got so much material from people like this and the general stupidity, moaning and frustrations of my workplace that I’ve started writing a script. Now, whenever I encounter these people or these setbacks, I feel this great creative inspiration.

  • Nik Lyons

    Reply Reply October 30, 2013

    People have been irritating me since before I was born. I am 30 and I have missed out on love and happiness. I have become a hardened shell of a man. I Irritate myself all the time. I turned to smoking weed at 13 because I felt like It help ease the internal suffering that was making me sick. My parents also annoyed me. Now my father is gone and I am trying to make it right with my mom and be happy for her but it is very difficult.. I take care of my elderly dog and my widowed mom.. I need help

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