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May

27

Why You Attract What You Don’t Want

May 27, 2008 by Steve

There are a lot of people who are skeptical about the Law of Attraction. They think that it doesn’t work or that it’s some sort of hoax. These same people aren’t able to attract their soul mate, build their ideal career or start their way to earn a million dollars. These same people are always using the Law of Attraction perfectly. The just don’t realize how perfect it is. The reason why these people aren’t creating a grander life is because they place their attention on what they don’t want.

You Attract What You Don’t Want

A few Saturdays ago I started a new coaching program. My intention was to use this coaching program to get some hands on coaching experience.

During the first day I met some really nice people. I met one coach who had told me we were all going to be assigned 5 participants as part of the coaching program. She also said that one of the coaches was going to need to coach 6 participants. She didn’t seem to be too happy about this.

In her own exact words, “I hope I don’t get picked to coach 6 people.”

Later that same day we were arranged into a coaching circle. In the coaching circle one of the head coaches made an announcement, “We will need one coach to work with 6 participants”.

I sat quietly and observed the head coach. He announced that they had chosen someone to take on the 6th participant ….and guess who was chosen to be the lucky coach? Yup, the same person who said, “I hope I don’t have to coach 6 people.”

If you take away the ‘don’t’ in her statement, this is what you would get,

“I hope I have to coach 6 people.”

No wonder she was chosen.  The Universe always gives you what you want, even when you ‘don’t want’ it. Pretty sneaky Universe, don’t you think?

Become Aware of the ‘Don’t Want’

When you don’t want something you have to become aware of it. You have to know what it is and be conscious of it. Being clear about a ‘don’t want’ will help you create what you do want.

For example, if I said, “don’t think of the color red,” what happens? You think of the color red. If instead I say, “don’t think of the color green,” what happens then? Same thing; you start to think of everything green.

Why do you think of the color green even when I tell you not to?

You think of the color green so that you can distinguish those colors that are not green. You would think that once you knew what green is, then you could put your attention on what green isn’t. That’s not always the case.

Distinguishing a ‘don’t want’ can be a little tricky. It’s very subtle and you need to pay attention to your thoughts. Most people aren’t aware they are placing their attention on the very things they don’t want.

The same thing occurred to me last week when I got really busy at work. There were these moments when I would get frustrated because the phone would continually ring off the hook. I kept repeating quietly to myself, “I wish people would stop calling me. I don’t want anymore phone calls”.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that I actually put more focus and emphasis on not having those calls. Since my focus was on not having phone calls, I attracted more of them.

“What you think about comes about.” ~ Jack Canfield

When you place your attention on the thing you ‘don’t want’ you manifest more of it.  As I got more frustrated and repeated to myself, “I don’t want anymore phone calls” I was affirming and attracting more phone calls to myself. The phone just started to ring like crazy.

You can read about a similar experience I had in Top 5 Lessons From a Part Time Blogger.

Attracting Debt

Accumulating debt can happen the same way. I often hear people say, “I don’t want more debt”. When I hear that I think to myself, “then stop placing your attention on debt!” Focusing on debt is the fastest way to attract more debt.

Recognize and be aware that you are focusing on debt. Once you’re aware of this you can create a plan to get out of debt. You could start by reading: How to Stop Attracting Debt, Forever!

It doesn’t always have to be about financial debt. ‘Don’t wants’ can come in many forms. You may recognize some of these,

“I don’t want to be sick”

“I don’t want to work”

“I don’t want to be robbed”

“I don’t want to get hurt”

“I don’t want to loose”

All of these ‘don’t wants’ will place your attention on the things you don’t want. When you focus on what you don’t want you get more of what you don’t want.  Stop it! Become fully aware of your current thoughts. Once you do, you’ll be able stop attracting the things you don’t want and start to create what you do want.

Continue reading to see: How to Apply the Law of Attraction.


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Have an opinion? Comments welcome.

8 Comments so far

  1. After the Carnival is Over | The Next 45 Years on June 1, 2008 6:50 am

    […] Why You Attract What You Don’t Want by Stephen Martile […]

  2. pinkblocks - personal power and self help » Blog Carnival on Personal Power June 21, 2008 on June 22, 2008 11:22 am

    […] They think that it doesn’t work or that it’s some sort of hoax. Stephen Martile presents Why You Attract What You Don’t Want posted at FreedomEducation.ca by Stephen […]

  3. DaveNo Gravatar on September 12, 2008 9:44 pm

    Hi Steve. Good article. Just found your site through the Steve Pavlina forum. But I was wondering..

    Have you read Steve’s articles on subjective reality? Then I was just thinking about the example of the woman attracting those 6 people. You were not surprised by this, you said. But if the reality is subjective, won’t that mean that it was you who had the intention of her attracting the 6 people? While you were looking for “evidence” of the LoA working, that’s exactly what you got.

    Yeah, I know. It’s very difficult explaining the LoA to others without using real life examples. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on my comments. ;)

    Thank you (and sorry for the bad English, I’m a foreigner.) :p

  4. SteveNo Gravatar on September 13, 2008 12:10 pm

    Hi Dave,

    thanks for dropping by. I think I understand what you’re saying but I don’t remember that specific example, (ie. the woman attracting those 6 people??)

    Maybe if you provided a link to the discussion, I could get a better handle on what you are referring too :o

    It’s great to hear from you,

  5. DaveNo Gravatar on September 14, 2008 11:15 pm

    Hi again, Steve!

    Oh, I’m sorry, I was referring to your own example in this article right here. You know, that woman who didn’t want to coach 6 people? ;) My bad for not being clear on this. And besides, this article was written on May 27th, so you’re excused :D It’s difficult sometimes to remember everything we say. I know this from running my own blog too, hehe.

    So, if you re-read the beginning of this article you will know what I was talking about. Now, I don’t know what you think about the subjective reality-theory, but in that model, you would be the one holding that intention, if I understand correctly.

    I just wanted to hear your take on this, hehe. Maybe because I’m a blogger myself and would like how to deal with this issue to my own readers. It’s good to get some outside inputs.. ehm.. even though, if reality is subjective, than I guess I’m just getting my own input. From “you” (me).. Wow, this was deep.

    Sorry for the mess! Keep up the good work with this blog!

  6. SteveNo Gravatar on September 19, 2008 7:08 am

    Hi Dave and thanks for clarifying your question.

    As far as subjective reality, I do agree that my intentions hold true to create my entire experience. In this case I was directly responsible for my observation (ie. her attracting extra people she didn’t want to coach)

    The only way I could observe this is by validating my belief of the Law of Attraction.

    Now I’ve asked myself the same question, “Is this true for me or is this true for everyone?”

    And again, it’s difficult to say from a subjective viewpoint.

    That being said, I still believe (totally subjective) that there is a Law of Vibration that is above and beyond all local and global beliefs. This is not even a global belief (ie. applying to a whole community of people) it’s simply metaphysical; meaning it rises above common beliefs and applies universally to everyone.

    How can I prove this?

    That’s a great question that I don’t know the answer. It will take more than one comment to answer and I’ll have to give it some more thought. Keep an eye on the next few articles in my blog…

  7. Leszek CyferNo Gravatar on March 9, 2009 7:16 am

    There was an interesting example given by Anthony Robbins in one of his books. He was learning to driving a race-car and his coach taught him to always look on the track, not on the wall. Whenever Anthony looked on the wall of the stadium, the coach would shout “Look on the track!” :) Through the course it became his unconscious habit, and very fast driving became joyful following track.

    He wrote that this experience strenghtened his understanding of goal achieving.

    It’s the same principle as in “keep your eyes on the ball!” line used by baseball coaches.

    When I’ve read this I understood some more about the LOA.

  8. How to Use the Law of Attraction to Achieve Your Dreams | Learn the Power of Your Subconscious Mind on June 6, 2010 10:05 am

    […] It seems very simple but the honest truth is that too many people put their attention on what they don’t want as I explain in Why You Attract What You Don’t Want. […]

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